To Be or Knot Two Bee?

I know the title to this post is a quote from a Shakespeare play, but this post isn't about Shakespeare or plays. Suzanne called to tell me how much she enjoyed my last post, especially the part about Mr. Barnes and his quote about unmitigated audacity. She says it all the time, because she has herd me tell the story at least a thousand times. Which brings me to the topic of this post. Thank goodness our founding fathers revolted against Britain, where I believe the English language began, I could be wrong. The only thing they forgot to do when they declared independence was start a new language, or at least make some new spelling rules. I never did, don't now or never even hope to understand the way we spell words in INGLISH.
Bye the way if you are having this red to you, like Suzanne reads it allowed to Lauren and Dana, or Stephanie does to her coworkers in the office, your going to have to read it yourself to get the reel effect.
I no I'm knot the first won to talk about this, the late George Carlin comes to mind. Bye the way how late do you have to be before they start calling you dead, instead of late because good old George is definitely dead. Susan bye the way is more than won our late. She asked if we could start some chores around the house by 10:30 this morning. She left for the gym around 8 a.m. and hasn't bin herd from since. I no she is okay because she carries any wear from 3 two 6 electronics with her at all times. I'm sure NASA could track her if she was orbiting Jupiter. She probably met Wendy and went to Starbucks after the gym. We all no how much Wendy can talk. Maybe I should call and rescue her, nah. Hear she is now, and I'm sure she'll be hungry because she can't stop any wear for lunch because she is sweaty from the gym and wouldn't want any won to sea her. I guess the people at Starbucks all go the gym, and don't care if everyone is sweaty. Anyway I'm once again rambling and off the subject.
Back to the spelling of our onederfull English language. Bye now you no wear, I'm going with this. And is it England, Britain or Ingland. Anything that ends in I N G is pronounced ing, but the dum Brits spell their, there or they're country with an E N G. See what I mean. Whoever wrote this language must have bin hi on something. N O W is now, put a K in front of it and it becomes no. Then is it raining, rain eng, reining or reigning. I before E except after C, what kind of crap is that, if your already having a problem spelling. Lets just throw a G in between the first I and E in reigning and then not pronounce it. That makes cents. I could go on and on butt I can sea Susan wants lunch and can't weight to tell me about this morning, no pun intended.